The Art of Creation
It is when I am immersed in the art of creation that I feel most aligned with my soul expression flowing between the raw moments of creating something new.
Art helps me process my own journey and where I am at that day, that moment, or in my life in general. I had a clear vision for a new painting yesterday, and when I awoke at 5am to dive in, I was filled with joy and excitement about creating a new piece that would challenge me as an artist.
My vision was clear, but when I started to create, I went in with too much darkness, which then smeared all over my freshly primed green canvas. I f***ed it all up, I thought. From the beginning, I had created an imbalance that I now had to adjust and work with to bring back into harmony. But things didn’t harmonize in the way that I thought, and I don’t think they were meant to harmonize in the way that I had imagined in my mind. Maybe the absolute harmony of my colors was never meant to harmonize; maybe they are just meant to be as they are, embraced for their individuality of being their own essence. And with that, they are perfectly beautiful in their own way, shape, and form. It is in the differences, and our own unique individuality, that we come together—not in the similarities. And in this way, the universe is able to come back into balance with itself.
I sat with my painting thinking it looks NOTHING like the distinct picture I had in my mind in the wee hours of the morning. I then realized what I meant to create was the absolute chaos of creation, and that is what I had accomplished in the early morning.
And then I tried to work with the reality of my painting, shifting the colors, shifting the story, and ultimately the clear vision I had in my mind. My direction changed, and the way I had envisioned things to go. Actually, I went really astray from my vision in a completely different direction, but my colors were intact.
As I am sitting with this painting, that will take a long time to dry before I add anything else, I find myself angry. Thinking, I woke up so early to do this, I was so excited, and now it looks like sh*t. No one will buy this. Is this even art? Who would like this? I just wasted my time. And most of all—
IT’S NOT WHAT I WANTED THINGS TO LOOK LIKE.
In truth, I need to sit with my painting more, wait until it dries, adjust accordingly, and in the end, I will either like it and keep it, or I will throw it out and have to start over.
My angst includes a deadline I set for myself. I am trying to complete it for my art show. I don’t have time for things to go south! Ahhhhh. (insert pulling hair out)
The truth is I love my painting. I am just not sure the world will receive it how I can and see what I see when I look at the chaos manifested on my canvas. But that’s not my business—how others receive my work. All I can do is adjust accordingly as time evolves.
“Isn’t this the truth of life?” My insides squirm yet giggle with absolute truth.
So often we are given a vision—something to work towards, a spark of inspiration, excitement. And then what often happens is things don’t go our way. Our ego gets involved. We get in our own way. Actually, we think we know the way when in truth, our spirit does. Sometimes the vision is supposed to only be a source of inspiration to move forward, rather than a concrete form of what’s to happen.
Other times, things don’t go as planned. Something else manifests and causes us to pivot or change directions. This can throw us off base, but really it’s all a part of the big picture. Sometimes whatever is in our way of the vision has to be cleared on a physical level so that when it is aligned with divine timing, the true painting can form. Sometimes what forms isn’t what we want or intend, but it is what’s best for us. Sometimes we have to let go of the whole vision and start over, and often times we have to deal with the manifestation of the present reality and integrate, wait, be with it, and give ourselves time to adjust so we can envision a new path, new direction, or new way to paint something new.
Sometimes we fall in love with what is on our canvas, even if we think no one else does. Sometimes what we manifest is just for ourselves, and other times it is to be shared with others. How others receive your medicine is none of your business, but it is your divine spark that wants to bring it out there anyway.
Lastly, sometimes we have to get the chaos all out of our minds and onto the canvas and wait until it dries to see how we need to move forward.
In the end, my painting ended up much more amazing than I could have ever envisioned. I am grateful for the process it took to get there.
Trust the process...
Patience and divine timing.
AHO
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